We live in troubled times, that is without question. I have a tendency to try and understand things in the larger context. I find comfort in the history, the data, the facts that make the seemingly overwhelming problems seem smaller, or at least easier to take apart and understand. That said, this is without doubt a unique time to be alive. We are in uncharted waters, and while the issues of plague and disease are not new, the speed and economic affects, as well as the near constant flow of information from far away makes this a modern catastrophe in every since.
The daily hustle, and business have taken a necessary step back, and like most I’ve been spending more time than normal on social media. The community in chaos is both strange, and encouraging. We are part of a whole, and people need purpose. I’m sure years from now people will be studying the effects of this time. Examining the behaviors, and events, trying to understand us.
My own feelings are mixed. I’m anxious, but not as much as I expected. I’ve had to confront some fears this past year, and come to some understandings about myself, that, while I wouldn’t wish for, have made this time somewhat less terrible. We, at the moment I’m writing this, have it fairly easy in Montana. In some ways its easy to feel it as a far off problem, which of course would be a mistake, and I expect things to get far worse before they improve.
All this has had the strange effect of making me very aware of how different people are expressing ourselves on social, the things we miss, the fears, the humor. We are all so different, and each one of us a contradiction in him or herself.
I like my own company, and while I’ve wanted to be around people, share a meal, and see people, it hasn’t been all that different from my normal spring. I tend to emerge slowly from winter, preparing for summer, and dreaming of what I want to accomplish this year. If anything, this has been a somewhat cathartic moment, reminding me how fragile this whole existence is. We too often take for granted our being. This isn’t some call to go jump out of a plane, do something crazy, rush to finish a bucket list thing. It’s more of a whisper to pay attention. Take a breathe, watch a sunrise. There seems at times this rush in the modern to live larger, faster, better and bigger. We compare instagrams, and feel small in our lives.
I would ask us all to let go of regret, of those supposed missed lives, and instead let each of these moments be an opportunity to take it in. Let things be what they are, and don’t ask for so much. Rise to the moments that ask it, lord knows we need each other in this time. Watch out for each other, and be slow to judge. Fear makes us all a little stupid, but it can also push us to change for the better.
Most of all, don’t resist the stillness. We use terms like introvert, and extrovert, and I’m as guilty as anyone of this, but these labels aren’t very useful. We are all just people, each with his own internal self. We all, need to connect with ourselves, and know ourselves. The quiet can be disturbing, but that is only because it is unknown. Journal, read, just sit and let your mind wander. These are not wasted moments, but valuable, and precious. Our time, no matter how long, is fleeting.
Don’t be so busy doing, that you forget to be.